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But it seems hard to defend a essentially monogamous nature to love itself without first assuming that lovers want monogamy, which is circular reasoning.
But if you're in a relationship with someone that does expect monogamy and exclusivity (as many of us are), then loving somebody else at the same time does represent a problem.
To me that's the proof that cheating is wrong - it requires deceit. i myself have a relationship with two people who are as committed to me as they are to each other. The problem I have is that I am coming out of a 9 year relationship with my current partner whom I still live with and so does my new lover and his girlfriend.And for the time being, we're not going to worry about defining emotional infidelity—does flirting count, or what about emailing or texting throughout the day, and so on—that's a topic for another day and another post (or perhaps another blogger! We're talking about being in love or falling in love with another person, which I think most people would consider to represent emotional infidelity (or, at least, is a good sign of it).Some people would deny that you can truly and fully love more than one person at a time.(And if your partner is not aware of the other relationship, then you've brought deception into the mix, either through silence, hiding, and sneaking around, or by outright lying.) Of course, your significant other may not value monogamy, in which case presumably you can be open about your other relationship.Another possibility is that your partner is no longer emotionally committed to the relationship, which is maintained for other reasons, such as children, finances, cultural or religious factors, and so forth.
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And understandably, it may be difficult for you to stay emotionally committed to this relationship also, which may leave a void within you that needs to be filled with a new love.